Do the song lyrics above stir any emotion for you? They do for me. Why you ask? Because believe it or not there was a time and probably still is when I would be afraid to step out on that much faith to grab the hand of Jesus. I so identify with Peter and his fear of "sinking"...
Matthew 14: 25-31
25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
In that context, I will ask a rhetorical question: Why do we doubt? Is it because we don't believe, is it because we listen to the naysayers, or is it because we haven't seen enough miracles to truly have faith? I'm a fairly dense individual with regard to some things and am probably the reason they invented the rewind button, but can tell you that I get little reminders every now and then.
One of those came last Friday when we received a call from Henry's Help Me Grow Service Coordinator telling us that Henry had received funding to follow through with aggressive restraint occupational therapy to help him utilize his left arm. I'm sure all of you know this, but do to his Cerebral Palsy, Henry doesn't use his left arm for much. The therapy will force him to recognize its utility. Results with similar patients have been amazing so this is truly a prayer answered... especially since we never could have afforded it on our own. This in itself is amazing, but the timing brings chills.
Last week may have been one of the worst weeks of my life due to my own faults. It really had me "sinking" if you will. I was frustrated, impatient, and angry. Henry's therapy was a major load on my brain. We hadn't heard anything for quite some time and I thought it was lost in the shuffle. I allowed it and life to drive me down. Why?.... because I was trying to do it on my own. Just like Peter I saw the wind, became afraid, and cried out! And, just like Peter, Jesus reached out his hand to reaffirm my faith and to let me know that when I can't, he can.
I know I don't speak about little Henry near as much as I should, but can tell you that his entire life is a testament to faith and this recent funding breakthrough is just another example of an answered prayer. There was a time when we didn't know if he would walk or talk and to watch him run, talk, and jump around you now, you would be hard pressed to recognize he has CP. God is truly faithful. I pray that I can remember that more often in the future and I hope that he somehow uses me as an instrument to show others that its okay to be Peter as long as you recognize that our Savior will never let us sink... no matter how great the storm.
Thank you Lord Jesus for giving me the ability to discern the gift you have given me in my little boy and Thanks to all of you for the support you have given our family along the way!
Love in Christ,