Comfortably numb... what is that you ask? My disposition as I embark on this little excerpt this a.m. I think it can be attributed to the cumulative effect of a over a week with limited to no sleep at night, a sump pump malfunction that left our basement wet and musty, and the ever trying job of managing behavior issues and illness with the boys. I know I am not alone in my struggles and we all have them. Usually they don't reach this point or come all at once, but they get there at times. I'm just grateful that I have a center to carry me through. I'll start with a verse that one of my Pastors shared in a sermon back in January of 2007 and it has been burnt into my mind ever since:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you..." - Isaiah 43:2
*Notice the word "when" in the verse... It doesn't say "if" ... It says "when"... guess times like these are inevitable. Back when I first heard this verse the demons were way different for me. I was about as immature of a Christian as you could find, but didn't know it and I was truly spinning out of control in need of an "answer". By the Grace of God I was given that "answer" through our Men's renewal program. I discovered much about myself and my faith walk at that time and where I personally was lacking. I was also given the gift of a stronger foundation and a new start.
There is so much that happens in this life that leaves us asking why. Its up to us to realize that God has a plan and we are not in control. I wonder how many times I've given him a chuckle when I've tried to do it on my own. As "it" hits the fan in my life I've let myself fall into the trap of allowing feelings and emotions steer me from truth. My own wants and needs always seem to make me stumble when I'm trying to serve a higher purpose. I truly believe we should not and cannot rely on our heart or mind, but rather our soul. God has planted those seeds deep in there, long before we were on this earth, and our faith is what delivers us time after time. I know it is what leads me when I'm going through moments like I am now and hope it is what leads you. Remember our Faith in Christ is not rooted in what we "feel", but who we are. Its more about a promise than a reaction. It is what sets us apart. I have a verse on my facebook page that was given to me through the discernment process from my Renewal Brothers, and leads me when the world fails me. Hope you let it be one of your beacons as well...
Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Please let God reveal all of his Power and Glory and give us the direction we all need to pass through the waters of life.
Love in Christ,